The Véniez Sexual Problems Clinic©
Sexual Aversion Problem
A person who actively avoids and has a persistent or recurrent extreme aversion to genital sexual contact with a sexual partner may have sexual aversion disorder.
Sexual compatibility is very important in most marriages. On rare occasion I find a couple happily married without any sex whatsoever, but in most cases, the quality of sex determines the quality of marriage. When a couple's sexual relationship begins to suffer, the marriage is usually suffering. But when a sexual relationship is thriving, the marriage is also thriving.
Usually it's the husband who has the greatest need for sex, but that isn't always the case. I am finding increasing numbers of wives who need sexual fulfillment more than their husbands. However, whether it's the husband or the wife with the greater need for sex, the one with lesser need is at risk for a sexual aversion.
In an effort to satisfy the spouse with the greater need for sex, the spouse with the lesser need often sacrifices his or her own emotional reactions. Instead of sex being an experience that they both enjoy together, sex becomes enjoyable only for the one with the greatest need. And it can become a nightmare for the other spouse. In all too many marriages, sacrifice leads to a sexual aversion, which, in turn, leads to no sex at all.
In order to be considered a problem, the aversion to sex must be a cause of difficulty in the person's sexual relationship. The individual with sexual aversion disorder usually reports anxiety, fear, or disgust when given the opportunity to be involved sexually. Touching and kissing may even be avoided. Extreme anxiety such as panic attacks may actually occur. It is not unusual for a person to feel nauseated, dizzy, or faint.
An aversion is a negative emotional reaction that's been conditioned to a behavior. In other words, if you have bad experiences doing something, you will learn to associate those bad experiences with the task. The very thought of it will eventually create anxiety and unhappiness, and then doing it will make matters even worse.
Some psychologists, for reasons known only to them, like to shock rats. They have shown that if you subject a poor rat to an electric shock every time it takes a drink of water, it will not necessarily stop drinking water. But the rat will become very nervous whenever it does.
Humans go through the same experience. If your boss yells at you occasionally when you go to the water cooler, you will find yourself very tense whenever you drink from it. Your boss's yelling, which gives you a negative emotional reaction, becomes conditioned to your drinking from the water cooler. It's not the drinking itself that's unpleasant, it's the association of drinking with your boss yelling that triggers your reaction.
Aversions can be created in association with anything we do. Unpleasant classroom experiences can create "school phobia," something many children have great difficulty overcoming. An automobile accident can leave people with a fear of driving. Even shopping for groceries can raise anxiety in people who have had a bad grocery shopping experience.
Aversions can also be created when spouses try to meet each other's emotional needs, if the effort is associated with an unpleasant experience. There can be an aversion to meet the needs of admiration, affection, physical attractiveness, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, recreational companionship, conversation and sexual fulfillment. These aversions can be created in a number of ways, but the most common is when a frustrated spouse becomes abusive when a need is not met to his or her satisfaction.
When one spouse tries to earn enough money for the other and he or she becomes angry with a paycheck that's judged too small, an aversive reaction to earning a living can be created. When a spouse tries to be affectionate and is angrily rebuffed because it isn't done "right" for some reason, an aversion to affection can be created. When a spouse tries to join in recreational activities, but has a miserable time, an aversion to recreational companionship can be created.
In other words, whenever someone tries to meet an emotional need, and finds the experience particularly unpleasant, there's a great possibility that future efforts to meet that need will be associated with unpleasant feelings, an aversive reaction.
The solution for Sexual Aversion Problems
THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING
The solution in Psychotherapy with L' Approche Véniez© is to identify the causes, the source of his or her symptoms to eliminate them. The most precise and fastest way is with L' Approche Véniez©. These different techniques are used; visualization, breathing and relaxation, hypnotism, the subliminal, and post-hypnotic suggestions. There is nothing artificial or supernatural about hypnosis.
- The first session consists of a series of questions asked to the individual to obtain therapeutic useful information about the patient. This session allows the therapist to understand his patient and explain to him how the therapy will take place. At the end of this first session, the therapist will introduce a brief introduction of hypnosis to his patient. (duration of the meeting is usually an hour, sometimes more)
- The second session consists of light follow-up by the therapist and deepening the patient's hypnotic state. (duration of the session is between 45 minutes to an hour)
- The third session consists of the work, acceptance, the release of shocks, traumatisms or causes of the lack of security experienced by the patient. (duration of the session is usually 1 hour or more)
- The fourth session consists of closing, reconciliation of the adult and the inner child, an experience of self-identity, self-confidence and loving yourself. (duration of the session is between 45 minutes to an hour)
Many people who are seriously depressed with sexual disorders and wait too long to seek treatment or they may not seek proper treatment at all. They may not realize that there is real help out there, or they may be concerned about getting help because of the negative attitudes held by society towards sexual disorders.